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I think that many things happen in our lives for a reason. I have felt so humbled and so uplifted about our lives lately. I feel that we are defenitly where we are supposed to be in our lives. I feel so incredibly blessed to have what we have, the friendships that we have, and the opportunity we have living in this Portland area. Growing up, we didn't live near a temple and the closest one we had was 4 hours away in Seattle. What a different life it is to have a temple 45 minutes away. Last Friday I was able to go and serve in the Kitchen of the temple and to get to experience that was such a special thing. I feel so honored to have had that opportunity. There is no better feeling then when you serve someone, but to be able to serve in the Lords house is incredible! So much good is happening to my family that I can't help but be grateful for everything the Lord has placed in our lives.

As Juan and I have had our ups and downs, I feel a complete love for him and I think that as we grow, and fight, and makeup that it brings us closer, we realize what we have for each other, and we learn to talk and work things out, that we try harder for our relationship. As we have talked about what we can do to improve that area of his life, which affects our relationship, yesterday he said we needed to have FHE. something we don't do in this house. So I got on that, and we had a great one with the kids! I hope that we can continue doing something like this.

I am trying and trying everyday to get through to Keenan on so many topics. Everyday is a trial for us, and we have a hard time. I am trying to talk to him and work on things, and then telling him how proud of him I am that he was working on listening, and complaining, I hope that he gets it. Parenthood is hard! If I knew how hard this would be, I would have considered not having kids! But the reward is far greater and I am so grateful these are my kids! I love them to pieces but everyday I have to remind myself that! :) Im sure most parents get that!

There is no question that Damon is a huge trial in our lives. And his trial is to live in that body. I have such hard days that I question everything, I wonder why he was sent to our family, that I didn't ask for a child with special needs, and why does everything have to require so much work with him. It is just flat out hard! I tell myself that I am like every other mom and that it's not any different, but it is! I think with him being my first, I don't know any different. But I am in complete awe that Heavenly father is aware of me, aware of Damon, and aware of my family. It doesn't take long for things to work out and to slap me in the face and he lets me know that he has us taken care of. We don't get a lot of help with Damon. Yes he goes to school full day which in itself is a huge help! We get a form or Medicaid that helps with his formula and what not. But as far as help as breaks we get close to zero. For the past five or so months, instead of respite hours we were asking for money to reimburse us for diapers because his insurance did not cover them. They are about seventy dollars a month. This month, he was put back onto an insurance called Family Care. Great! no so great! having this insurance meant that he has to switch all new drs, can't go through the vendors he is already set up with for his formula and bags for his feeding pump, diapers, and equipment. I spent countless hours on the phone trying to get it all figured out. Luckily for us, as of yesterday, he was put back to where he was at Medicaid wise, Health Share Care Oregon, so he can keep all of his dr's again! yah!! So today I made phone calls to get his supplies going again, dr appts made! I also had an evaluation for him with a new plan called the K-plan. Well come to find out, starting Feb 1, he is eligible for 119 hours of respite care a MONTH during school hours, and 149 hours a MONTH during summer hours! Um for January, we currently have 4.75 hours for the month! Wow wow wow! They also cover many more things! A complete answer to our prayers! I can get help at home with him, we can go out and do things that we wouldn't other wise be able to do as a family, like day beach trips, hiking, biking, I mean this is huge for our family! I can't wait to see what our lives are going to be like having this help!

Niko and I are buddies during the day! That boy has me wrapped around his little finger its not even funny! He is an awesome kid and such a blessing to this family! Him and I spend our mornings at the gym, runnings errands, or hanging out at home together. He still isn't talking much but I can figure out about 50% of what he wants. No interest in potty training yet, but I'm ok with that! He is likely our last baby so Im sucking up all I can with him!