Being Carried

One thing I love about having a smart phone is the opportunity to write a quick journal entry when a thought enters my mind. A few weeks ago, I had a moment that I realized a major support in my life. Having a special needs child is the hardest thing I have ever done and will continue to do. From being physically draining to mentally draining. Many times I have been told/asked how I do it. My response has always been "you just do it." Up until this moment, And I can't pinpoint the exact moment or what was mentioned to make me realize that I have literally been carried by Christ in every aspect of being Damons mom. I really had not been.able to know how I could do it with him and how easily it came. Easy in a way that you just do it. It is something I cant explain. I have many rough days when I wonder how my life would be so much easier after he passes, or how life would be so much easier without a SN child. I have had to repent so many times from things I have said, or done, and but I know that Christ is with me all the time. "He never said it would be easy, He only said it would be worth it."
As Im writing this, I remeber where this came to me. We recently startes getting the Ensign again.after years of not receiving it, and there is a talk in there by David A Bednar. (March 2013) It is called "The Enabling Power of the Atonement"
He says, " I suspect that we are much more familiar with the nature of the reedeming power of the atonement then we are with the enabling power of the Atonement"
"Heavenly father and the Savior can inspire, comfort, and strengthen us in our time of need, if we remember to cast our burdens at their feet." He speaks of a woman who had.lost her husband to early onset Alzheimers disease. She pleads for help on days she cant do it alone. Where in the end she feels Gods strenth.
"To me", she says, "this is the power of the atonement. I know I cannot.change my situation, but I can change how I respond. I have to humble myself and depend on him for help.

" When we understand the enabling power of the Atonement, we will.be changed; we will have access to strenth beyond our natural abilities, our weekness can be turned to strength, and we can know that in the strength.of the Lord, we can do all things." -Bednar
I can honestly say that I have felt that strength beyond my own. I am so grateful for these words. They spoke to me.in such a comforting way. i know that I am never left alone. Children are what Christ loves more then anything. They are his children. I am gratful for the opportunity to have this perfect spirit in my home. To have such a spirit where he is not tempted by.anything and that Satan cannot grasp him is an amazing feeling! I love that boy like crazy!

Lincoln City Birthday Weekend

This past weekend I was invited by my friend Geri to spend her birthday weekend with her at Lincoln City. My old ward, Geris current ward was also having a beach retreat at a house there but we opted to get our own place and it worked out lovely! We had an ocean front view which was gorgeous! We had amazing weather! Especially for the coast!

 We had a great time of shopping, eating junk, and eating more junk! We went to a hole in the wall type of restaraunt outside of Lincoln City called Otis Cafe. They make thier own bread there, so hamburger buns, wheat bread, white bread, mollases bread. It was all divine! WOW! We loved it so much that we went again Saturday night! We were loaded up on cinnamon rolls, pie and ice cream, cupcakes, candy, chips, just straight junk! We did eat a good healhy lunch at Subway though :)

I also invited my friend Kimberly who is in my ward now. She had never been on a weekend getaway with no kids or husband! She defenitly was NOT missing them! I missed my boys and was ready to come home! I was over the junky eating, and was ready for my birthday!

 Here is a group of girls at Otis Cafe before heading the the beach house for thier fireside.

Visit from Mendez Family

 

Ana and Jose's family came down for a weekend visit a couple weeks ago! We always have a fun time and there are plenty of laughs!! On Saturday we went to Woodburn to the outlets to go do a little shopping... little being the key word! It is really hard to shop with little ones! I don't think that we will do that again! But we had a great time with them and it was fun to have family to spend time with!

Freeze time

Some days I wish would be over quickly and would like not to repeat again. Today was NOT one of them. I absolutely love my boys! I cannot.imagine what life would be like if we had a girl. Its the small things that I get to enjoy on a daily basis. Like watching Niko eat his lunch while closing his eyes and then looking my way with eyes still closed. Then slowly opening them to look at me then laughing. I have tried to remember the little things that were important to me that day. As much as this child cams into his terrible twos over night, and runs across the room and throws his body on the floor, he still has me wrapped around his finger.
Keenan is my little charmer. That boy knows the way to his mommys heart! He is so ao thoughtful and is always thinking about us. That he will buy me new makeup and new underwear. :) Tonight I was doing my usual clean up before bedtime. He kept telling me that he was going to share his blanket with me and that it was still there 5 minutes later. He was ready to snuggle with me! I can snuggle all day with my babies!
Damon.misses out on us a lot of the day being in school. He rests a bit when he gets home but no nap as tired as he his when he gets home. But he can snuggle with me all day too! He will just look at me with his brown eyes that Im his world. And I always will be. I always imagine myself with him, still.cuddling with him when hes 18 and bigger then me. I cannot wait for the day when he can say I love you too. The other day something very touching happened to us. Juan and I were brought to teary eyes when.Damon waved to us on purpose. Where we were telling him hi and waving and he smiled and brought his left hand up and shook it. Very awesome!
I hope that I always have a close relationship with these men in my life. That they will.always be my cuddle bugs. And if not, then I can read back and see how much I cherished those moments!