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Lots of emotions run through your mind when your a special needs parent. I know I can't be the only one with thoughts from sickness to long term care. Up until recently I have had some mean thoughts, or just thoughts of I don't care. And it came across that way. I had a one on one lunch with a good friend of mine and we were just talking and being personal with each other. She asked me things about Damon, and thoughts. She was blunt with me and told me that I came across with Damon as tired of him, and he stressed me out. Of course he stresses me out. But she said I don't know what you go through on a day to day basis and im sure its hard. She said your the best mom I know and she looked up to me. I so needed this because I knew my perspective needed to change. My whole perspective on being a mom needed to change. Not just with Damon, but with all my boys! Since then, my whole thought process, my acting out as "stressed out," don't want to do this anymore thoughts have completely gone away. I have no doubt that Damon is our trial and Satan is doing anything he can to get me to think negatively about him because he can't affect Damon, so his way of that happening is through me. I am grateful for an everyday opportunity to grow and change and be better. For the enabling power of the atonement. Without that, I don't think I could change how I look at things, how I am helped every day and for the blessing that child is in my home! Everyday I commit to be a better parent for him, and when I usually get upset and mad, I just think positive and it truly has helped the situation! I want these things written because everything is not a walk in a park. If my kids have their own children with special needs, that they can understand what I went through and that they are not alone.