"Keenan's three Alise, isn't it about time for you to have another one?" If I havent been told this, I know people are thinking it. And don't feel bad if you have said it to me. It doesn't hurt my feelings. BUT... It does make me start to think all over again, that yes, Keenan is three and by the time I have another one, he will be 4.
I took my IUD out a year and a half ago and we have been trying to have another baby with no such luck. I didn't think that it would take a long time to get pregnant, but it just hasn't happened yet. I have been feeling kinda low lately about the pressure of having another one, and especially how much i would love a little girl. I don't fully understand why I can't have another one at the moment and why there is such a hold up. You can only hear "its timing" for so long until it seems to be such a retorichal saying. Well when is it going to be my time? When will I have another one? I guess there is always the option of adoption. I have an appt on the 5th to see whats going on, and to see what the hold up is.
You never really know how much your husband loves kids until your wife can't get pregnant and you see them wanting to hold every baby in site. Which is so differant then Juan. It makes me so happy to see that he wants another one just as much as I do.
yes I have my hands full with Damon. But really, as much as a mom with 5-6 kids? I see no differance. I don't want my kids to be years apart and then I feel like I'm starting all over again... And why is it that people that don't want kids have them? Or unfit parents seem to have them all? Wow.... ok maybe that wasn't the right thing to say, but I said it.
So until the right moment happens for me, I will live in the moment and enjoy my kids and my family and see what we can make better for them!
7 comments:
Alise we love you and we know that things will work out for you. Remember that are Heavenly Father never gives us to much to handle.
Oh Alise! How I feel for you! It sucks to not be able to get pregnant! But there are reasons for everything! This coming from me you know is legit!!! In all these years we've been trying to get pregnant I've learned that every once in awhile, it's ok to be sad, angry, hurt and confused! I've learned to have an outlet for those feelings! Trust me my sister has gotten MANY phone calls where all she says is hello and I start yelling, crying and ranting on the phone! She just listens to me and at the end, she ALWAYS asks the same question. "So what are you going to do about it?"!
The only thing you can do is be positive! It's human to feel the way you feel, we are in fact human! Because you are right Alise, it is unfair! It's unfair watching these beautiful little children beaten or abused. It's unfair knowing that a drug addict will have a baby before you or I! It's life and it was never ment to be fair!! But I do know Alise that great blessings are going to come your way, if you just have faith and trust in our Heavenly Father! I for awhile was so angry with him, I wouldn't pray and I wouldn't read my scriptures! Then everytime I get down on my knees, I know it'll be ok! We have to humble ourselves to be blessed with that comfort we long for!
So cheer up and if you EVER need to talk to someone, you call my phone! It's (509) 440-6111! Be strong, because you truely are one of the strongest people I've every met!!
Oh Alise, I had no idea. I can't even begin to say I know how you feel because I have never had to wait that long (not yet) but I do know that it can't be easy and I hurt for those that have to go through this. After having a miscarriage on our first all the thoughts of infertility or complications of course started racing through my head and all those same questions of why and when and even how come those that don't want babies get them so easily everything you said you were feeling. I wouldn't consider myself a fertile mertile like so many and every month that goes by and that dang period comes it is so heart wrenching all over again. I would try to stay positive but I am sure the stress of hoping that dang period never came didn't help matters out. You're probably thinking oh please Jande you have 3 kids (for which I am forever grateful). But I have had many of those same feelings and questions at times. I really hope they can find a solution and you will have the blessing of more adorable children in your family because I can't think of a more deserving person. You are a great Mom!!
**Oh and by they way I have learned through different situations that you NEVER make that awful statement, "it's about time for another one". You just don't know individual situations and how hurtful that comment can be.
Hey Alise! I'm so sorry to hear that! My sister Jami had fertility problems for years and wrote all about it in her blog. I know it's always more comforting talking or reading about people in the same situation, no one else really understands. Her blog is www.treyj.blogspot.com if you're interested. I know sometimes the problem is so simple to fix so hopefully that's the case with you! Good luck to you and Juan!
Alise thank you for being open about your feelings & thoughts. Everyone has their own pain and own trial so I won't say I know how you feel. I'll just say I'm sorry and I love ya! The Lord definitely is in control and sometimes it takes years to understand his reasoning!
Your heart is in the right place. You're an awesome mom. We love you. Have you put your name in the temple? I can babysit if you and Juan want to go on a date to the temple. :)
Love
Mom
sure.... reasons for everything. Yep. I heard that so many times before. STill sucks. Girl I'm sorry. It makes me cry to read this. I understand 100%... yep try and try again wish and pray we still have no babies. Not one. I understand. And I love you. And we can talk any time. it's a hard thing. we can do it together!!!! How did your appointment go on the 5th???? LEt me know what they said. I might have a great DR for you to visit if you need a little extra help like Sean and I do. She's been great. LEt me know!!!
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