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My thoughts come best to me at night and that is why I love having my phone handy on me by my bed. Although the last two times I have posted it didn't post them and so my posts were lost. bummer.

I have been in the slumpts a bit lately. Trying to find my place in this new world of ours outside of school, in the real world, and also the world of a special needs mom... I know a lot of my posts revolve around this said thing, but it is who I am. I never would have thought that I would be listed as one of them, a special needs mom. But dang it can be hard physically and hard on me mentally.I have to say though that I have the most amazing husband ever! We have grown so much as a couple in the last year that I wonder what our relationship will be like in ten. Amazing the power of patience has on a marriage...

I am trying to find myself again. Depressed? No not at all. Just trying to find things that I love again, to get out of the day to day, in and out, household things. Things to look forward to. Things that I used to do but have gotten so out of doing, thinking about them wears me out. :)

Is it just me, or as I get older, I think about what I wish that I would have been, done in my life. Yes I have so much more time to live, but what if I don't? Wanting to be a nurse, being a better hair stylist, and being a better mom. I have some new commitments this year.

Living so near to the city, (Portland) the opportunities are endless for us. I want Juan to be able to look forward to something to do on his Saturday off a month. Because this will be his schedule until about June. I am committing to be so active in the outdoors. Finding new trails to ride our bikes, new hiking spots, swimming, the beach, play areas, water parks, and the list goes on. Its hanging on my fridge of the things that are a must to do!

Another thing that I need to work on is not being such a tight wad. You ask anyone that is around me often can tell you this! I hate to spend! I know that value of saving and I love seeing money in my savings account and it kinda stresses me to see it go down at all. But really, there are so many holidays, birthdays and whatnot that can really strip your checking account that I see no reason to do anything except for major holidays. Seems to be a waste of money. So I'm working towards it! Juan will be so happy!